I hope this works because this is simply the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. NECK LINE TRIMMER? I don’t THINK SO. Watch the blonde using it,and to me,with my mind not even in the gutter,and all she needs is a corn dog to practice going down deeper on.
Truly,truly I say to you,if you sre gullible to fall for this,then you are gullible enough to have fallen for any fad diet or excercise that has come around in the last…well….since Jack LaLane started doing calasthenics on tv back in the 1950’s.
Look,I am a firm believer of one type of weight loss. That’s a well balanced diet and excercise,including cardio and resistence training,and you ladies can get that once or twice a week by using MY METHOD of strength/resistence/and cardio training.
It’s called the LAWN MOWER METHOD.
This is how it works. Go and buy a lawn mower. Preferrable with a 5 horse Brigss and Stratton mower on it,BUT NO SELF PROPELL. A PUSH MOWER ONLY. Now,in a time limit of 1 hour to 3 hours,depending on the size of your yard,or a neighbor’s yard,you can get a great work out.
You all think I’m shitting you here don’t you? But think about it. A lawn mower. A simple tool for cutting the grass. It’s what your husband or the yard guy Enrique does every Saturday. Why do you think enrique is so fit and trim? He’s not starving,he’s eating 50 tacos a day while he’s in the truck going from yard to yard.
Here’s how it works.
First,you stretch. Gotta have those muscles limbered up. Next,you pull the cord to start the mower. Set the blade at the desired height,and you begin to to mow. Now,when the mower contacts the grass,that’s NATURAL resistence. The higher the grass,the more the resistance. The more you walk and push the mower,the higher your cardio goes. Be sure and take plenty of breaks though. In the summer time,with all this global warming,you’ll sweat buckets. And it only looks sexy when a woman sweats while she’s in a bikini. So,you have a choice. Drink water,OR you can go with approved LITE BEER. It’s only 96 calories,and in this heat,you’ll sweat that out in minutes. Also,BEER gives you carbs which gives you energy to finish the yard and move on to the second part of this excercise.
Now,several things go on when you use the LAWN MOWER METHOD. You have your resistence,you have the cardio from the walking,and you also have a push and pull resistence. But I hear you asking,what about your ABS? Well,if you coulpe the LAWN MOWER METHOD with THE WEED EATER METHOD,and you have almost the complete package. The WEED EATER METHOD incorparates swinging the weed eater from side to side which works WHAT? THE ABS and lower back.
I hear you asking now….BUT WHAT ABOUT MY CHEST? Well,when you triple it,and add in the LIMB CUTTING METHOD,that’s great work for your chest. Place a pair of limb cutters in the open position around a thick limb and squeeze them until the patented limb cutter blades slice through the wood of the tree and there’s your resistence.
There you have it. The complete work out. Cardio,resistence,EVERYTHING. And you also have the added benefit that your husband will come home and see what a great job you’ve done on the yard,and will probably take you out to dinner.
AND? You only have to do this excercise ONCE A WEEK….OR,if want a heavier work out,PUT SOME FERLIZER ON THE YARD,and you can do this excercise TWICE A WEEK for maximum results.
It works. It’s tried and true over the years. It will make any man in your life that much happier and might even improve your marriage when your husband or significant other knows that while you are outside in the blazing hot sun EXCERCISING,he can sit down and watch NASCAR,NFL,UFC,MLB,and all those shows he’s missed while having to mow the yard.
